Month: September 2021

Daily edging challenge – Day 4

For those without anyone to set tasks or challenges, or just wanting a daily challenge, then I’ll be posting every day.5 edges / sessions today. Each edge, you must tease yourself for 30 seconds, and then rest for 30 seconds. Repeat this until you edgeAny questions, extra challenges or words of encouragement, my DMs are always open. female orgasm denial Get your own Orgasm Control toys: For men: http://www.amzn.to/1V6XQvv For women: https://ift.tt/1UWn54n

Self denial and holding myself accountable

So my orgasm is currently back in my hands, meaning if I want to cum, technically I can. I have been wanting to get back into a longer term denial period, and I am seven days in. I have been super needy and edging a lot except for a day and a half of no touch. Last night I was playing and had a rather intense edging session. I was out of my mind needy, and struggling to stick to my own decision that I was not gonna cum. I finished edging and said goodnight to the person who was controlling my toys. Rather than going to sleep as I had planned to, I grabbed my other fully charged toy and started using patterns. I made a split-second decision to cum because I felt so fucking needy. As I was playing more, I was having an internal debate over whether or not I was gonna cum.I had asked a couple friends to check in on me today to make sure I hadn’t cum. It was my feeble attempt at assuring accountability to myself. I figured, if I came, and they asked, they could tell one of the people I listen to around our shared community or make me tell them. I don’t know. It was just something to try to keep myself honest so I would not give in during a moment of weakness.As I got closer to the edge, I made a kind of deal with myself to do this one 10-minute pattern that may or may not push me over. I would try to not cum as hard as I could, but I knew there was a chance it would force me. I knew it wasn’t as mentally strong as I’d have preferred, where I said no to myself and stuck to it no questions asked. But it was better than having decided to just give in, which I had just chosen to do.Going back on the bad choice I made to give in, and creating a situation where the control was only partially mine, was a step in the right direction for me.So I’m riding this essentially 10-minute edge, since this pattern pretty much never lets up, and I am realizing that I had talked myself out of giving in. It dawns on me that I can make the choice not to cum even though no one else is holding me to it. I’m happier and more fulfilled in my sex life and in general when I am denied, and while it is definitely more fun and much hotter to be told by others, I can deny myself.It was a good mental exercise for me to come back from having actively decided to give up to ultimately resolving not to. I made it through the pattern and was done playing. I felt like I had made some kind of progress in my own self-control as a sub. What I learn about myself in kink is almost always translatable to other disciplines of my life as well.. Accountability is fucking hard for me as it is for everyone, but I think I have maybe started getting a little better at learning to hold myself accountable. So I guess I might be proud of myself a little. female orgasm denial Get your own Orgasm Control toys: For men: http://www.amzn.to/1V6XQvv For women: https://ift.tt/1UWn54n